I've always had a problem watching too much TV. Ever since I was little I was always the one to be completely mesmerized by it. I'm not someone whose critical thinking goes into overdrive when sitting in front of the telly. In fact, I can barely maintain my brain's basic state of passive attention. I become extremely lazy and my ass can't move itself. It's now a convenient excuse for explaining why I'm not an accomplished musician or haven't developed the cure for cancer. I probably don't have the talent and I'm not smart enough however I like to think I just watched too much TV as a child.
Actually, for several years, roughly from 1995 to 2005, I rarely watched. I had better things to do and didn't want to spend the monthly. Then I moved into a new apartment. My roomate wanted TV and I wanted an internet connection. We got a digital "bundle" and saved our dollars. The outcome has been that I've watched a lot of TV in the last 6 months. Hours that I will never get back.
The shame of it is also the manner in which I watch TV. I become a zombie. Practically all my friends have more knowledge of what shows are actually playing and worth watching. They seem to be able to filter the good stuff. I can only zap from shitty to shittier. I merely take my friends' advice, rent the good shows on DVD (haven't downloaded them ... yet), then continue to watch regularly scheduled crap on top of that. My blog (and state of mind) suffers tremendously. Have my posts become dumber? I wouldn't be surprised. I can't judge anymore, I'm too stupid. Anyway, if I'm not posting, it's surely because of TV.
Lately, however, I've been cutting down a lot. I've become extremely bored by it. Bored and digusted to the point of discomfort. If only my brain could vomit! It's Spring, and I think that my soul is full of dust and bile. All thanks to TV, I take no responsibility. My hate-on is in full force. The incarnation of my disgust is currently CNN Headline News anchor Nancy Grace who looks demented and has the personality of a hyperkinetic ghoul. I think the satirical show The Wrong Coast derives considerable material from this maniac. Her makeup crew must be doing it on purpose: there's no way they're attempting to make her look saner than she really is. I can't look at her or listen to her for more than 5 seconds.
It's mean, but someone needs to tell her she looks like a witch. OK I'm done.
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M-L's occasional ramblings.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
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8 comments:
Am I the only person on the planet who loves Nancy Grace? Of course she's annoying, that's why they hired her. People like to watch her 'cos she's completely over the top. It's easy to hate Nancy (or as we call her "Blinky"). In actual fact there are a long list of people on CNN that you should hate way more. For example Lou Dobbs (they pretend he's a business news host when really he's just a crazy xenophobe), Paula Zahn (at first you think she's a bimbo, and then you think you're just being sexist "just because a woman is attractive doesn't mean she's a bimbo", and finally you realise -- or you should -- no, she's jsut a bimbo... and sort of a bitch about it). And of course, Larry King.
Stop blaming TV for things. TV is wonderful. You weren't doing anything interesting anyway, just learn to love the TV. You need to get over the guilt.
It's true that CNN has awful newscasters and that Nancy Grace is probably not the worst. And maybe what I feel toward Nancy isn't quite hate: that's probably an exaggeration. Flipping passed channel 37 and catching a glimpse of her focused, very intense frustration makes me laugh hysterically. How can it be hate when she makes me laugh?
Some people shouldn't drink alcohol. Maybe Marty-Loo shouldn't watch TV...
Marty-Lou!
Your posts could never be boring. I love your blog and although I haven't left comments in a while I do still think of you, and how your blog is comming along. I shall linx you up as the old phrase from... you know where.
Anyway, I couldn't agree with you more regarding Nancy Grace. Her husband or was it her fiance, or her boyfriend that she was going to marry? anyway the man that she was going to marry died long ago and it should have been her.
She is uglier than a witch and her voice and accent are beyond atrotious. She should really be behind the counter of Dunken Doughnuts. No wait, she should be in the kitchen of Dunken Doghnuts baking Doghnuts. Either that or in storage. Storage suits her well and fine.
Umm... Yes, Nancy Grace is by far the worst on CNN. And Marty-Lou is spot on regarding how comical her intense stares are.
Paula Zahn could be considered a MILF, but theres something about the way she speaks that drives me nuts. Picturing her laying in bed next to a man all sweaty after having sex and talking doesn't seem hot nor romantic. Her voice doesn't have that sexy zing to it. So therefore I have come to the conclusion that, should Paula Zahn participate in sexual activities, she should not speak prior, during or after. Never. It just doesn't sound right. Oh, and I often picture her giving fellatio. Maybe a little something in her throat would help alter the sound of her voice. It could be a higher octive or a lower octive, I don't care, as long as that particular speach she has goes away. Okay I am done now.
Lemon, I hate to tell you this, but you are wrong.
Lemon's sense of humour went completely undetected by either Shnatz or PDD. What she's saying, with a touch
of sarcasm, is that I'm fretting too much about TV and that in the end I shouldn't take its impact on my poor little brain
too seriously. Maybe the problem is with me, and not the tube.
Both Lemon and Shnatz know how I watch TV: they are both witnesses to my frighteningly easy
hypnosis. It's also interesting to note that Lemon and Shnatz are at the other end of the brainwashing scale,
i.e. they don't let the TV decide. (Something tells me PDD is the same as both Shnatz and Lemon.) When they
watch TV, they may zap like crazy but it's because they're on the hunt for what they want. They are actively
searching for what meets their needs; I am merely settling for what the TV gives me, passively letting it invade my brain.
Shnatz, Genet, PDD all know this: I think they nicknamed me "computer" when we were all in high school.
Actually, two weeks ago I mentioned to my mother how easily influenced I was as a child. I said that if we had been
born German in the 1940s, I probably would have willingly joined the Hitler youth. My mom was shocked by this.
Anyway, PDD has hit on what may be an effective system for the review/evaluation of newscasters and news anchors.
1) Take the newscasters and TV personalities and imagine a newsroom orgy or porn movie scenario in which they are
all willing participants.
2) Through their interactions, with or without dialogue, determine the people who you find least disturbing.
So I did that.
The CBC's got Ian Henemansing and Gloria Macarenko: not the most revolting of the lot but
Peter Mansbridge makes an appeal for a threesome and ruins everything.
On CNN, we've got Larry King and Lou Dobbs crashing in on Nancy Grace and Paula
Zahn, dominatrixes to Anderson Cooper, the gimp. Larry tries to woo Soledad O'Brien by pointing to his crotch and
referring to himself as "the King", to no avail. Wolf Blitzer watches idly in the sidelines.
Nancy Grace wants Andy to herself and drop kicks Paula Zahn, WWE style.
Nancy is emerging as the winner in all this and proceeds to animalistically hump Cooper to death.
LOL!
I love that!
I heard that Peter Mansbridge and Cynthia Dale are married.
Ew.
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