Who eez zat gigolo on ze street ...

Once in a while I watch a French variety show on TV5 called "Tout le monde en parle". Usually, there's nothing worse than a French variety show, but this one has proven to be excellent most times I've tuned in. I found out there's a Quebecois counterpart too and, not to be un snob, it doesn't do the French one justice because the hosts aren't as funny. Thierry Ardisson and Laurent Baffie don't butter up their guests like Jack Asstor's garlic bread: instead they ask probing and interesting questions. "Why do you generalise and stereotype?", "What's your greatest film?" or "Are those tits real?"

The show easily beats any anglophone talk show I've ever seen. However, I can't say I'm a talk show expert. Beyond being generally humorous, TLMEP also has a novelty factor that anglophone pop culture afficionados can appreciate. The show's musical interludes and segues are selected in a corny and awkward yet interesting manner that only mainland Europeans seem to have mastered. For example, Nene Cherry's "Buffalo Stance" was used throughout the last show to introduce new guests on set.

Also, if you care to test your French and watch, you'll notice what I'll call the French clap. No, it's not an STD, though there could be a French version of that too. Whenever the audience in any French TV show gets fired up they start clapping in unison like the bass beat in Boney M's "Ra Ra Rasputin". It doesn't matter if the music that's playing is actually Destiny Child's "Independent Women" or Beethoven's 5th, the clap is inescapable.

Last week's guests included:

• Robert Menard, a big shot for Reporters without Borders in France, who discussed the U.N. conference on freedom of information, which was held in... Tunisia. Better than Saudi Arabia, but still a horrible choice for a host nation for that event.

• Francois Ozon, director of "Swimming Pool", "8 women" and "5 x 2" who will release a new movie called "Le temps qui reste" (The time that remains).

• Russian pop bimbos, taTu, a topic of one of Genet's posts.

• French rocker Jean-Louis Aubert, who released a new album called "Ideal Standard" which happens to be an internationally ubiquitous brand of commercial toilets and urinals. What happened to American Standard?

Also, in light of the current riot situation, two authors with strongly differing politics and opinions sat beside each other and ignited the debate:

• Aziz Senni, with his book "L'ascenseur social est en panne ... j'ai pris l'escalier." (The social elevator is broken... I took the stairs)

• Charles Pellegrini, "Banlieues en flamme." (Suburbs on fire)

Also in attendance was Antoine De Caunes, a comedian (famous in France), and the king of french advertising, Jacques Seguela.

To round out the roster, there was Francois Mitterand's personal chauffeur, who apparently never had a driver's license and wrote a couple of books. The womanizing of the former president was discussed in significant detail, but not his politics. It's a variety show on state-sponsored TV, I guess you can't expect too much.

Clocking in at 3h, each episode is too long to watch. However, this is also an advantage because the part that you catch will probably have a real discussion instead of the typical 2 minutes of banality followed by a commercial break. Few issues seem to be taboo: music, tv, movies, art, business, politics. Even sports, apparently. Former Manchester United striker turned actor, Eric Cantona, famous for his kung fu moves directed at fans, was a guest on yesterday's episode, which will be re-broadcast on Tuesday and Wednesday. So was Canadian Paul Anka. How weird is that? Throw in figure skater Philippe Candeloro and you've got yourself a party.

I promise not to post about talk shows ever again.